How to Resolve any Conflict – 3 Steps

Energy “Your personal feelings, moods and attitudes”

The people around you can feel your positive energy. And it can even shift their energy from negative to neutral, neutral to positive. And if you're upset your negative energy can make others upset.
11 professional mediators and facilitators having decades of experience with major companies, governments and family counseling agreed that

Positive energy transference is an innate ability and a learnable skill that you can use in your daily life.

Everyone can act as a mediator.
Whether it's in a formal mediation or in a merger, a conflict with a co-worker, an argument between friends or strangers. Or even at home in the middle of the kitchen floor holding two children back as they throw punches at each other.

So today I'll tell you how to resolve conflicts transferring energy, and using your positive energy.

But first, a word of warning
To succeed, all parties of the conflict must want to work it out.

In my first marriage we went to a divorce counselor and the first question she asked was.

Do you want to work this out?
I said, "No not really." So she said, "Well sorry I can't help you."

So we turned around and walked back out.
So assuming that's not the case here are three simple steps to unstick a conflict move it forward using your positive energy and come away with a peaceful resolution.

One of the biggest mistakes you can make as a mediator is to jump right into a conflict when the emotions are high.

Whenever possible, the best bet is to set a future date and time.
When the emotions and energy can settle and deflate giving you the opportunity to get ready for the conflict and to start shifting positive energy into the mediation.

For example,
Say your uncle’s daughter wants to go bungee jumping and dad says, "no way."
So she comes to you and asks you if you can help her talk to him.

You think it's a crazy idea to tie a rope around your ankles and jump off a 500 foot bridge. But you can't say that because you're the mediator.
So this is what you do instead.
You schedule a time that's convenient for everyone.
You meet in the most comfortable room that has no distractions.
You make sure that everyone has a glass of cold water.
You meditate for a few minutes to eliminate outside distractions.
This will allow you to focus, stay impartial, and bring your positive energy into the mediation.


In step two you want to observe, listen and ask questions to diffuse the conflict and move it towards collaboration.

Asking neutral questions will make people stop and think.
During this pause, we'll allow negative energy to start diffusing.
During that time the negative energy and emotions will start deflating and that'll give you time to shift positive energy into the conversation.

For example, I was a project manager and we were installing a major software system for a payroll system.

The contracts and schedules were finalized, and the client requested a major change in the vendors. And this caused a heated conflict between the groups doing the work.

Once you've prepared for the conflict you have to sit down with all the major groups and start asking neutral and non-threatening questions.

Ask questions like, "Well how much will this cost?" and "When can it get done?"
This will give you the intent that you're suggesting collaboration.
And you're going to ask what do you think about this new change?
This will help people diffuse and feel like they are validated.

And also ask, "Are there other possibilities that we haven't considered?"
This will refocus on new ideas rather than fixed points of view.

So when the smoke has cleared and the stone faces begin to melt, that's time to get a consensus. Once that's completed you have that positive energy going for you.


The energy in the room is constantly moving and changing.
And once the energy is neutral that's time to get a consensus In a verbal or written agreement. That's true in business in interpersonal conflicts too.
For Example: While co-mediating conflict between three college roommates we discussed everything from who would take out the trash on which days to how they would use the open living space.

And even though this was mediation between friends we still wrote up a written agreement with specific steps to make sure there were no misunderstandings.

I believe that there's a resolution to all conflicts. It just takes a willingness to try.
Your positive energy “That comes from your compassion, empathy, and sincere intentions and it's your desire that sets it in motion”

So everyone can use their positive energy to resolve the next conflict in their life.         

More : Learn How You Can Reprogram Your Subconscious Mind to Manifest Health & Abundance...while Staying at Home By 15 Minute Manifestation Program

Special Thanks To Ted for such a beautiful talk by Dorothy Walker.
How to Resolve any Conflict – 3 Steps How to Resolve any Conflict – 3 Steps Reviewed by Bhoral Bajni on July 11, 2020 Rating: 5

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